The Ultimate (Un)Official Guide to Super-injunctions ♀ Part 1 ♀ For Her

To make sure that you fit the profile for a super-injunction, answer the following questions:

♥ Does SPA mean “Smart People’s Area”?
♥   Do you get IQ points every time you use your store cards?
♥   Are you a minimalist? Do you like (own) micro pigs, mini dogs, miniskirts, mini-bikini, etc...?

If you have answered “Yes” to all questions, 
you can continue reading 
or alternatively 
apply for Paris Hilton’s next BFF.

1.  Start from scratch:

Size: 0 ♥ Fame: 0 ♥ IQ: 0

Points may vary, but cannot exceed 10.

2.  Dress appropriately:

High heels and miniskirts are a must! 

Silicone boobs are a bonus!  

No underwear allowed!

3. Visit only the most famous and expensive (aka posh) clubs in town. It may be pricey, but it will be your best investment ever.

4.  Be on the lookout for: designer bling-bling, a wallet bigger than your skirt and a wedding ring, of course. Footballers seem to be the perfect match, but don’t exclude anyone who spends over £/$5000 on a night out!

5.  Once you have found Mr. Right – Get close. Really close!  The rest is a no-brainer.

♥ ♥ ♥

The more, the merrier! 

♥ ♥ ♥

If you are patient, repeat steps 2 to 5 as many times as you can. 

6.  First thing in the morning: Call every magazine & newspaper there is and simply Sell, Sell and Sell! (The story! Not yourself!)

Remember: 

1. Always look your best! (Especially on your way to court.) 

2. There's no such thing as bad publicity!

3. It's never your fault!

SUPER-INJUNCTION GRANTED!

7.  Get on as many TV that show as possible and blame it all on him!

Here are some questions you might be asked and the answers you need to give:

Q: Are you a bitch?

A:  Have you heard me bark?

Q: You have been with different men?

A: Where I can find them the same?

Q: You have slept with many men?

A:  Do they leave you to sleep?

8.  Using Twitter (under cover, of course ) let every newspaper, that is published at least 3000 miles away, know the name(s) you’re not supposed to tell anyone.


9. Sit back and relax.

♥

Size doesn’t matter!
♥ 
The bank account does!