Friday morning. Picked up a Metro on my way to work...
Page 1. Fight at the Royal Ascot.
Photo: The Daily Mail
Damn! Missed the fun, being stucked at the office all day, working to pay the bills. And they fight with £98 Champagne.
f@#!$@%&#%^~!@$@^&
Page 2 and 3. Advertising. Not buying it. Total waste of space. And 20% of deforestation is due to paper consumption!
Page 4. The weather. Rain. Again...
..NOT
Page 5. Bulldog that loves to dress up. Really?
15 million kids die from hunger every year, but people still buy clothes for pets which they simply don't need. Go figure.
Page 6. "A black widow spider found in a British port is pregnant - with about 450 babies. The deadly arachnid is being taken to the London Zoo where it is due to give birth after its discovery in a US container at Chatham Docks, Kent. "I thought she looked a little bigger", said Maidstone vet Mark Rowland.
At this point - LMAOSHMSFOAIDMT (Laughing My Ass Off So Hard My Sombrero Fell and I Dropped My Taco.)
Page 7. Lady Gaga's computer hacked by 18-year-old. Who cares? Whatever he found on that HD can't shock me more than her looks.
Page 9. The fight from page 1 explained. f@#!$@%&#%^~!@$@^&
Page 11. Apple will block your iPhone camera if you try to record a gig.
"If you don't have an iPhone.
Well, you don't have an iPhone".
Blah Blah Blah....
Page 27. Porn usage statistics. Do they include watching Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Britney, etc?
f@#!$@%&#%^~!@$@^&
Who the f@#!$ cares?
Blah Blah Blah...
Page 33. A mushroom named after SpongeBob SquarePants. The world has gone mad!
Page 34. Anthony Weiner has resigned as a congressman. Couldn't get a super-injunction in the US, eh?
Page 35. In Canada "City riots over ice hockey" Want to fight so much? Send them in Afghanistan, Libya, Syria, etc...
Problem solved.
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